I always felt that Cobra needed more female characters. So when Daremo's "The Mission" contest on Hisstank.com called for a vehicle, I decided to take that opportunity to not only create a new Cobra jet but a new Cobra female character who would serve as a driver for that vehicle. Enter "The Cobra Sidewinder" and her pilot, "The Countess."
COBRA SIDEWINDER
The SIDEWINDER is an experimental ultra-compact VTOL aircraft that can move incredibly fast at altitudes as low as 20 feet above the surface. In order to stay airborne at such low altitudes, it utilizes extensive computer systems to assist pilot control. However, all the bugs have not been worked out so the vehicle currently tends to slide from side to side in the air especially when hovering. This "side winding" appearance is what gave the vehicle its name.
Techno-Viper 1053's log:
Currently, the SIDEWINDER is still in the testing phases at a secure hidden location. Test pilot THE COUNTESS was assigned by THE BARONESS herself. The aircraft's speed and maneuverability will revolutionize the ground war with the Joes, that is, if we can get all the systems working together at the same time. Note to self: Keep an eye on THE BARONESS as she has been poking around even more than usual. Seems suspicious.
TEST PILOT
Code Name: THE COUNTESS
Primary Military Specialty: Pilot
Secondary Military Specialty: Aircraft Mechanic
Birthplace: Classified
Contessa is the daughter of a deposed Count of a small Eastern European country. During her youth, while her father was still in power, she and Anastasia "The Baroness" became childhood friends. However, after the murder of Anastasia's brother, the two lost contact. Many years later while on a mission for Cobra in Turkey, The Baroness found Contessa working as a pilot for a local crime lord. Despite the years, they immediately recognized each other and after the Baroness killed her boss (inadvertently costing Contessa her livelihood), Contessa asked to join Cobra. The Baroness welcomed her old friend with open arms.
Between her excellent flying skills and likable personality, Contessa quickly rose through the ranks to become Cobra's top pilot below Wild Weasel. However, her beauty did not go unnoticed by Destro and created a rift between her and The Baroness. In fact, it was Destro who gave her the code name "THE COUNTESS" despite protests from The Baroness. (Note: In aristocratic hierarchy, the rank of Countess is above Baroness.)
Qualified Expert in all Cobra aircraft as well as F-5E, F-15, F-16, F-18, XP-14/F and most Russian aircraft including the Su-30MKI.
Cobra Commander Says: "The Baroness must be a student of Sun-tzu because she not only appointed The Countess to be our experimental aircraft test pilot but also her "personal" pilot. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer indeed. I can only assume from her growing jealousy that one day The Baroness will find it necessary to ensure that one of our experimental aircraft meets a tragically lethal end."
Code Name: THE COUNTESS
Primary Military Specialty: Pilot
Secondary Military Specialty: Aircraft Mechanic
Birthplace: Classified
Contessa is the daughter of a deposed Count of a small Eastern European country. During her youth, while her father was still in power, she and Anastasia "The Baroness" became childhood friends. However, after the murder of Anastasia's brother, the two lost contact. Many years later while on a mission for Cobra in Turkey, The Baroness found Contessa working as a pilot for a local crime lord. Despite the years, they immediately recognized each other and after the Baroness killed her boss (inadvertently costing Contessa her livelihood), Contessa asked to join Cobra. The Baroness welcomed her old friend with open arms.
Between her excellent flying skills and likable personality, Contessa quickly rose through the ranks to become Cobra's top pilot below Wild Weasel. However, her beauty did not go unnoticed by Destro and created a rift between her and The Baroness. In fact, it was Destro who gave her the code name "THE COUNTESS" despite protests from The Baroness. (Note: In aristocratic hierarchy, the rank of Countess is above Baroness.)
Qualified Expert in all Cobra aircraft as well as F-5E, F-15, F-16, F-18, XP-14/F and most Russian aircraft including the Su-30MKI.
Cobra Commander Says: "The Baroness must be a student of Sun-tzu because she not only appointed The Countess to be our experimental aircraft test pilot but also her "personal" pilot. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer indeed. I can only assume from her growing jealousy that one day The Baroness will find it necessary to ensure that one of our experimental aircraft meets a tragically lethal end."
And here's "The Mission" story I created using The Sidewinder, The Countess, and the G.I. JOE character I created, Top Shelf.
Intel:
Code name SPECTRE has identified a new Cobra aircraft that is being tested at an underground facility in the Southwestern United States.
****
Orders:
Code name TOP SHELF will be dropped 10 miles from suspected site of Cobra experimental vehicle testing facility. (See code name DUSTY for insights and preparations.) TOP SHELF will proceed to site and conduct surveillance as long as deemed necessary to estimate capabilities and threat level. Upon completion, TOP SHELF will proceed to extraction point and call for pick up. NOTE: TOP SHELF must NOT ENGAGE enemy unless threat is immediate and eminent.
****
Top Shelf's log:
Entry 0 - Day 1 - 21:30
I'm making the drop under what little cover the desert night sky can provide. Dusty's flying the Dragonfly low and he won't tell me where we're headed. I can't tell if he's following orders or just grumpy but I'm guessing by our travel time and the terrain that we're in southern Nevada or New Mexico. I always wanted to get abducted by aliens. That would totally rock! Come to think of it, that's probably why Cobra's using this area to test their experimental aircraft. Any "sightings" by the locals would be lumped in with all the others as the latest UFO.
Entry 1 - Day 1 - 24:05
Dusty isn't much company. He won't quit griping about how I got picked over him for this mission. "Desert is MY specialty, blah, blah, blah!" Anyway, Dusty's getting fidgety so I must be dropping soon.
Entry 2 - Day 2 - 02:17
Whoever said a ten mile run through the desert in full gear at night was a piece of cake was out of their mind. It was probably Dusty. I gotta remember to slug him when I get back to HQ. Arrived at observation point and set up blind just inside a rocky crater surrounding suspected site.
Entry 3 - Day 2 - 4:06
Satellite photo of underground hangar confirmed. 50 yard "hole" opens in the center of the rocky crater. VTOL aircraft whose profile resembles a miniature Cobra Rattler rises from hole. Aircraft hovers three minutes above the hole before it begins to shake from side to side so much that the pilot loses control and almost crashes into the crater wall. Pilot regains control and it descends back into the hole.
Entry 4 - Day 2 - 6:01
I can't say that I've seen anything, but I get the distinct impression I'm not the only one watching this site. Will not move for the next 24 hours to attempt to verify.
Entry 5 - Day 3 4:15
Hangar doors open again. Same aircraft rises from within. This time it rises smoothly but when it pauses to hover, it still slightly sways from side to side. Aircraft takes off, skimming the crater no more than 10 feet from the surface.
Entry 5 - Day 3 4:45
Aircraft returns to hangar but just hovers over the closed door. The nose mounted machine-gun opens fire...
Entry 5.5 - Day 3 4:54
I evaded the machine gun fire but it tore up half my remaining water supply. I thought they might have made me but they must have just been testing the gun. Wait, something is definitely going on. Inside the cockpit, the pilot is looking very agitated. The aircraft sways even more before it lands right on top of the hanger doors. The pilot throws open the canopy and tosses some kind of robotic scorpion out of the cockpit. Its smoking and the legs are twitching. The pilot hops out and is female. She plugs a few rounds into the thing, and stomps it into the ground. The pilot then removes her helmet, throws it onto the sand covered ground and yells something at the top of her lungs that sounds like "Stacy." She gathers her composure and gets the plane moving again. This time the hanger doors open and the aircraft descends. WTF just happened here?
Entry 6 - Day 3 5:22
I see movement on the other side of the crater. Some kind of desert ninja looking guy with a whole lot of electronics gear. He opens some a hidden access hatch nearby and disappears.
Entry 7 - Day 4 4:09
Hangar doors open and same aircraft rises from within. When it reaches 30 feet above the opening, right side engine explodes and the plane crashes into the side of the crater. I can't tell if the pilot survived the crash. Ground crew emerges from below and douses the flames. The Baroness herself is among them. Damn it, Hawk if you didn't give me orders not to engage I could put two bullets right through those geeky glasses. Wait, the pilot is coming down the side of the crater, she must have ejected before the explosion and it sent her outside the crater. She's a hot mess and her flight suit must have been on fire because she's smoking and walking like a drunk. But she still has enough left to throw a sucker punch right across the Baroness' face. Don't know why the Baroness didn't duck, but she orders some of the ground crew to take her away. The pilot is spitting and cursing at the Baroness as they drag her down the hole.
Entry 8 - Day 5 2:15
Made it away from the site undetected and awaiting pick up. I'm not entirely sure what I saw happen down there but it appears that the aircraft is out of commission for now. Was it mechanical failure or the result of sabotage, it's hard to say. Y'know if the Cobras could just stop fighting amongst themselves for a minute, they might actually stand a chance against us. Dumbasses!
Code name SPECTRE has identified a new Cobra aircraft that is being tested at an underground facility in the Southwestern United States.
****
Orders:
Code name TOP SHELF will be dropped 10 miles from suspected site of Cobra experimental vehicle testing facility. (See code name DUSTY for insights and preparations.) TOP SHELF will proceed to site and conduct surveillance as long as deemed necessary to estimate capabilities and threat level. Upon completion, TOP SHELF will proceed to extraction point and call for pick up. NOTE: TOP SHELF must NOT ENGAGE enemy unless threat is immediate and eminent.
****
Top Shelf's log:
Entry 0 - Day 1 - 21:30
I'm making the drop under what little cover the desert night sky can provide. Dusty's flying the Dragonfly low and he won't tell me where we're headed. I can't tell if he's following orders or just grumpy but I'm guessing by our travel time and the terrain that we're in southern Nevada or New Mexico. I always wanted to get abducted by aliens. That would totally rock! Come to think of it, that's probably why Cobra's using this area to test their experimental aircraft. Any "sightings" by the locals would be lumped in with all the others as the latest UFO.
Entry 1 - Day 1 - 24:05
Dusty isn't much company. He won't quit griping about how I got picked over him for this mission. "Desert is MY specialty, blah, blah, blah!" Anyway, Dusty's getting fidgety so I must be dropping soon.
Entry 2 - Day 2 - 02:17
Whoever said a ten mile run through the desert in full gear at night was a piece of cake was out of their mind. It was probably Dusty. I gotta remember to slug him when I get back to HQ. Arrived at observation point and set up blind just inside a rocky crater surrounding suspected site.
Entry 3 - Day 2 - 4:06
Satellite photo of underground hangar confirmed. 50 yard "hole" opens in the center of the rocky crater. VTOL aircraft whose profile resembles a miniature Cobra Rattler rises from hole. Aircraft hovers three minutes above the hole before it begins to shake from side to side so much that the pilot loses control and almost crashes into the crater wall. Pilot regains control and it descends back into the hole.
Entry 4 - Day 2 - 6:01
I can't say that I've seen anything, but I get the distinct impression I'm not the only one watching this site. Will not move for the next 24 hours to attempt to verify.
Entry 5 - Day 3 4:15
Hangar doors open again. Same aircraft rises from within. This time it rises smoothly but when it pauses to hover, it still slightly sways from side to side. Aircraft takes off, skimming the crater no more than 10 feet from the surface.
Entry 5 - Day 3 4:45
Aircraft returns to hangar but just hovers over the closed door. The nose mounted machine-gun opens fire...
Entry 5.5 - Day 3 4:54
I evaded the machine gun fire but it tore up half my remaining water supply. I thought they might have made me but they must have just been testing the gun. Wait, something is definitely going on. Inside the cockpit, the pilot is looking very agitated. The aircraft sways even more before it lands right on top of the hanger doors. The pilot throws open the canopy and tosses some kind of robotic scorpion out of the cockpit. Its smoking and the legs are twitching. The pilot hops out and is female. She plugs a few rounds into the thing, and stomps it into the ground. The pilot then removes her helmet, throws it onto the sand covered ground and yells something at the top of her lungs that sounds like "Stacy." She gathers her composure and gets the plane moving again. This time the hanger doors open and the aircraft descends. WTF just happened here?
Entry 6 - Day 3 5:22
I see movement on the other side of the crater. Some kind of desert ninja looking guy with a whole lot of electronics gear. He opens some a hidden access hatch nearby and disappears.
Entry 7 - Day 4 4:09
Hangar doors open and same aircraft rises from within. When it reaches 30 feet above the opening, right side engine explodes and the plane crashes into the side of the crater. I can't tell if the pilot survived the crash. Ground crew emerges from below and douses the flames. The Baroness herself is among them. Damn it, Hawk if you didn't give me orders not to engage I could put two bullets right through those geeky glasses. Wait, the pilot is coming down the side of the crater, she must have ejected before the explosion and it sent her outside the crater. She's a hot mess and her flight suit must have been on fire because she's smoking and walking like a drunk. But she still has enough left to throw a sucker punch right across the Baroness' face. Don't know why the Baroness didn't duck, but she orders some of the ground crew to take her away. The pilot is spitting and cursing at the Baroness as they drag her down the hole.
Entry 8 - Day 5 2:15
Made it away from the site undetected and awaiting pick up. I'm not entirely sure what I saw happen down there but it appears that the aircraft is out of commission for now. Was it mechanical failure or the result of sabotage, it's hard to say. Y'know if the Cobras could just stop fighting amongst themselves for a minute, they might actually stand a chance against us. Dumbasses!
The Sidewinder is a completely repainted mini A10 Tank Killer from another figure line with custom decals designed by me. The Countess was a lot of work just trying to get the pieces to fit together as most Joe female parts are not compatible with each other. I also modified the torso to streamline her body armor and make her a little more well endowed. She also features custom made decals on her helmet and body armor.
I almost had as much fun creating the characters and story as I did making the customs. Thanks again to Daremo for hosting the contest that inspired me to create these.
I hope you dig them. If you do, they're on ebay right now. They're also ONE OF A KIND so get them before they're gone.
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